lonely

She's sad and she doesn't know why. She can't give you an answer, she can't tell you if she's going to cry. Her heart is aching, a bitter slow hurt. Its on the inside and she feels as though her life it'll subvert. Living from day to day, hoping to make do. She's afraid she just might not make it through. Its like a fog that slowly crept in. Its come and taken over, unpacked and moved in. Now she can't stop it, change how she feels. Afraid, lonely and worried...she's not even sure if these feelings she can conceal. When will this end? When will it be done? When will she feel like she did, before all of this had begun?

Divorce Celebrations?

Its amazing how we celebrate divorce. We have "Finally Free" parties, "Single Again" parties. We have a TV show "Unhitched". Why is it that we are so ok with celebrating failure and recklessness in our lives? Why are we taking the very thing that Christ wanted held in high regard and putting no value on it any longer? The Bible says, "What God has brought together, let no man put asunder." So why can we so easily celebrate something that has completely fallen to pieces? What about all the money you spent on the wedding ceremony, reception...divorce, lawyers, time away from work, alimony...ugh!

I'm Not Gonna Write You A Love Song Cuz You Ask...

for it, cuz you need one...
"Write about my boyfriend, this one...not the one at Applebee's," you say. I could write plenty about you, boyfriend, more than I want you to hear me say. But that's why I don't, because I know I say too many things. I can't say the right things to you boyfriend, the things that make you happy or to cheer you up. I just say the truth and far too much. Care about you, boyfriend, I do. Maybe that's why I'm brutally honest and let anything slip, boyfriend, I pour out like I've opened a door and can't control what I say at times. Maybe I should be kinder with my words, more cautious and careful. But, boyfriend, I am who I am, I say what I do and work through that I will true to follow through.

You, my boyfriend, are my boyfriend because I want you to be. Because you make me happy. Because, boyfriend, I know this is true. Letting you in, is what I am working on. Letting my feelings show, is what I am starting to do.

That is how I love. Boyfriend, that is how I work to make this work.

Love you, boyfriend? Love you...I do.

But boyfriend, I only write about you...because I want to. Never because you'd ask me to.

The Storm That Didn't Cease

Its raining again today. I don't know where to turn. I feel myself becoming soaked in rain water again. All too soon my tears are mixed in. I'm not sure where to turn, or even what to say this time. Its seems as if the storm never ended, but merely just has been on pause.

Its flooding again today. The water has been dancing about my feet a for while now. My ankles are covered in the flood. I can't see the floor or know where to step next. I feel like I'm walking in the dark, afraid I'll fall off the edge and not know where I've stepped.

Its dark again today. The sun has hid its light from the pain I feel. Its cold and brash outside. The storm beating all about me. The clouds came in with the cold rain and flood. Darkness crept into my world with out any notice given.

Its in the calm of the storm, I need to hear your words whisper. I need to hear from you Lord.