I hurt you and I can feel your pain. God, why does this have to be so hard? Why do I have to hurt you so greatly? My heart feels like it is breaking for what I did. I can't make myself think about it, I can't take the pain. Looking in your face and seeing all that you feel all that you want...
Why can't this be over with? Why can't we walk away and pretend it never happened? Why do I have to love and care that your heart is broken in two? Why did I have to be the one who did it? The knife in my hand, with your blood on it. Your heart wrenched in two.
Your passion, your desire, your wants, your needs; they are all slammed in my face. I am frustrated and I can't handle it. I feel nauseous, I feel weak, I feel faint. God, why did it turn out like this? I never wanted it to go down this path. I never wanted you to put yourself on the edge.
You can't help what you want, but I can't help what I want either. What I need is the harder part. Why are the hardest thing and the right thing always the same. I feel weak and vulnerable, I feel horrible. I can't bear the thought of your pain. Why do I feel so....mean?
Why can't it be next week? Why can't it be a year from now? Why can't the pain be erased? I drove the knife that caused your pain. I shut the door that seemed to close your future. You ignore, you become mad, you are hurt.
Your pain isn't as great as mine. The struggle I felt, feel is overbearing. I know this is right, but it feels so completely...difficult. You don't understand, and for now I know you won't. Your life at a stand still. Your dreams tossed to the wolves.
I feel anguish knowing this would happen before it did, knowing I walked in while you were blindly lead to the slaughter. You care so deeply, you want so badly, you seem in such need. I must walk away and allow you to heal. I can't bandage the wounds I caused; I can't correct what I had to do. Pain so great from the wound, but my heart is broken as well.
*(this isn't about doing something wrong, disobedience and such. This is about doing something right and in the process hurting someone, someone you care about. Making the right decision and knowing the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.)*
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