Monday, May 26, 2008

to give what i need...

The deception is worse than lying. Please just tell me the truth. Please, oh please, just be 100% honest with me. I'd rather learn from something that hurts, then walk down this road a while longer. I need the truth...what you're afraid to tell. I need you to say you can't seem to spill.

I try to tell you what and how I feel, yet some how...its always taken wrong. Maybe I can never say things just right. But at least it's said. At least my effort is given.

Do I not measure up? Do I not compare?
I don't understand...but I need the truth.
Just give me the truth...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Pecking Order...

There's this pecking order...this order to how we live life. Along the lines of "king of the hill" or "queen of sheeba". Its all about who's the best...the smartest, the prettiest, wisest and who has the best man, career, children, car...whatever you can think of. Why must we participate in these games? Can't we just live and ... let live? You compete to be better than I am, when we're the same: just people, working towards our life goals; in love, in work, in life; enjoying life...trying to follow the right path. Yet there's this fierce competition which one of us is better, who is the one who comes out on top. Even when I walk away and try to not say something, its brought back - this stone thrown to see if I'll fight back. When I do, I feel horrible...like I shouldn't say anything. But its constant, the only thing you do. Like we have nothing else better to say, nothing else better to accomplish than this little, ridiculous game.

Is there a way...a way possible to make it stop? I suppose I'll have to learn not to respond.