Thursday, May 31, 2007

Your Touch

He passes hundreds of people as he walks down the street to work today. The rush of people hurrying off to work and school, off to play. Bumping in to each other, rushing by with their destinations in mind. The moments when a shoulder grazes another; when a brief case slides past a purse grasped tightly as not to be lost. People collide as they run for the train, the bus, as they slip into the elevator just as the doors are closing. The touch that goes unnoticed, without a care or thought.

A mother caresses her baby's cheek as he smiles back at her. He giggles an awkward muffled laugh begging for her attention. The mother tickles his chest and kisses his toes, the baby laughs again as he is brought into her arms. The warmth of her body envelopes him. The beat of her heart near his a comfort calming as he slowly drifts off to sleep. The touch of care and love, the touch of protection given attentively each day.

Hiding her face she hurries down the street, her hat pulled low on her head. Make-up applied as best as she could trying to hide the bruises she gained last night. They seem to be a single large abrasion these days, the smaller combining to form a black and blue pattern. She knew he would hit her again last night, as he stumbled through the door in a rage. The minutes seemed to pass like days as she fell to his mercies. Never again, she had said, never will he beat me. "Isn't that what you said last time," her best friend and pleaded that morning. The outraged and resentful contusions too great to hide, the pain inside ever growing.

What touch have you given today? What impact have you left? Unnoticed? Uncaring? Loving? Compassionate? Guiding? Unforgiving? Relentless? Angry? Your touch will last a lifetime...

Monday, May 28, 2007

A Change

A change is stirring. A change in where I am going, who I am and what this life shall be. The change that I've been needing, searching for, waiting to arrive. Almost as if the sunrises brings with it my change, the new day brings a new me. Honestly I like me. I am fine with being who I am, but I can't be complacent. It's not what I am isn't what should be; it's what I want to be isn't what I am every day. The moments seem to come and go where I could have been nicer, where I could have been stronger, where I could have helped more. This is where I make a change in me. A change that needs to be.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Trust

What do you do when someone you've loved, trusted and put your life into lies to you? Completely breaks all trust you had with them? What then? Where do you go from there...? When you know that trust will never be restored? Then what do you have left?

nothing...you are nothing without trust...

"Friendship comes from Trust
Trust comes from Love
Love comes from The Heart
The Heart is in US."

Monday, May 21, 2007

Living In A New World

I was thinking about how much life has changed since my family moved back from France. I remember at the time everything seemed so different from when we'd left. Which for those who don't know - the States are quite different than other countries. People just do things different, not necessarily bad nor good. But looking back SO much everything changed in a few years. When I was young we played outside - sticks, dirt and trees were our forts, weapons and horses. Now kids play Game Cube, XBOX or something of the sort. My nephew who's one-and-a-half knows my phone can take a picture or play music. My three-year-old sister will have me take a picture and ask me to put it on myspace! People set up dates online through eHarmony, Match.com instead of meeting someone and asking them on a date...or the good (very) old fashioned personalized dating service (lol...). People send evites for weddings (yes, Audrey! ), send texts to meet up with friends and communicate through email rather than calling and it's proper business protocol. I email with my co-workers 10 feet away constantly throughout the day. I get asked, "You want to text?" rather than asked on a date! We search through the internet coupons that are emailed to us instead of picking up the Sunday paper at the gas station or jump online to check movie times instead of the paper as well. We make plans with friends through text and email, rarely picking up the phone to actually call. Strange how a bit of "technology" changes our communication, which then changes our lives complete! I wonder what another 15 or so years will bring...

will we even speak to the family we live in the same home with?

Monday, May 14, 2007

My Little Bit of Hope

It shimmered brightly and all too deviously for quite some time. Sitting there, catching my eye too often. That small glimmer of hope that was left. It lay dormant, but it was still there. I held on to it and stored it quite deep. Hiding it, so no one would know...yet it danced at the front of my mind all the time. I tried to make it go away; I tried not to think about it, but there it was teasing me. It made me smile, it made me wish and think of what could be. My hold of it tight, keeping it tucked deeply so it wouldn’t get lost.
Now it's vanished in a mere moment of time. Slipped out of my grasp, gone forever. The door slammed shut. I stood there frozen, stunned! I heard the lock slip into place, with a click so loud it made me jump. And the key thrown so far I never quite heard it land at its final resting place. Now I long for my bit of hope back. I long to hold on a while longer. I’m not ready to let go. Wishing I hadn’t let it slide away without my knowing. But it’s settled. It's settled in my heart, though I fear what I'll be left with. Nothing. Without my hope to hold. Without that shiny piece of maybe, maybe it will be. But maybe isn't what I can live with. I can't stick with just a bit of hope. I need more reality.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

BitterSweet

Each time someone I know pass away it doesn't seem any easier. It's easy to assume each time should be more manageable. But no, it never seems to be less painful.

I've dealth with death since I was very young. I have a large family and well my parents never hid my sister and I from these difficult situations. They knew it would only make us stronger. Which I am thankful for. I have friends who have never had someone close to them die, I fear the day it happens. Death can be so difficult...and quite confusing to deal with. If you have no hope for tomorrow, then death is quite definite. Heart breaking. Strenuous. With a hope for tomorrow - death isn't necessarily easier to deal with, but ultimately you understand more and you can know lives are better spent in reverance than in suffering. To say BitterSweet.

How does one trudge through the difficulty of loosing a best friend? Loosing someone they have known for years. I guess my Grandpa said it best, "We've had so many wonderful memories together." That's what you do, you cherish those little moments, as they say - it's the small things that count. You never forget the person for who they were, how they loved and what they showed you about life. You keep their memory alive, as in keeping their legacy living on. What about someone who poured countless moments, time and prayer into your life? Is thankfulness the best way to remember and cherish that person's legacy?

Life is but the moments we live brought together. Live each moment in love and caring, with tomorrow in sight.