Sunday, July 30, 2006

Compromise Doesn't Mean Compromising Who You ARE

Every relationship takes compromise. Takes sacrifice. "Give and take" a little. It's a two-way street. Relationships take work and that means to not focus on the small things and allow room for mistakes, they will happen.

But when have you compromised too much? When are you compromising who you are? When have you sacrificed so much you may loose sight of who you started out to be?

Don't sacrifice who you are for the other person. So you like to eat sushi? Chow down, just take a girlfriend you rarely get to see. Is she deathly afraid of heights? Make your buddy go sky diving with you, she'll forgive you (although, I wouldn't! I'll be your sky diving buddy!!). Don't give up things you like to do or eat for the other person. Keep on being who you are, just don't push the other person to become like you.

Compromise means the things in everyday life, not changing who you are; the toilet seat, the movie you watch tonight or who's family to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with. Don't compromise what you believe for the best guy around, it probably isn't a healthy relationship. So she's gorgeous?, don't give up God because she doesn't believe there is one. That's when you aren't yourself anymore.

Why would you ever want to push the person to be something that you want? Didn't you like the person when you first met them? Allow people to be who they are, love them for their individuality.

Why try to fit a mold of something they want you to be? Compromising who you aren't isn't compromising in a relationship. Sacrificing watching your favorite TV show because their band has "a gig" at the local blues bar. Or running to the mall because there's "a huge sale on jeans", as if she doesn't have a 1000 pairs already!

Compromising is the best thing you'll learn. Maybe you will head to a new city or try a new ice cream flavor or ride a bull. Whatever it is, compromise is a necessity in life.

Just don't compromise who you are.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Falling In Love With the Wrong Person?

If you can't help whom you love....how does one control the love they feel? The saying goes that you can't control whom you fall in love with. Welll....then what happens what you are in love and you need to control those feelings? Isn't that quite impossible? I say it's the most difficult task you could ever have at hand. If you fall in love...truly....madly....deeply, it's just there. It bears a hole in your heart; it encompasses your being. It becomes who you are.

...think about it. How often have you heard conversations or people referenced to like this: so-and-so's boyfriend, such-n-such's wife. "Oh, he married that beautiful Brazilian woman who's not the brightest crayon in the box." insert waiver-I am not prejudice, my cousins are Brazilian!!! "She married that amazing CEO who makes millions a year. How'd she ever get him?" Oh, shut your mouth; don't even say you've never said anything like that before! I've heard you say it a 1000 different ways. I don't think we say things like that to label people or to act against someone... but eventually you become who you love.

So a woman gets married; takes her husbands name. She BECOMES his wife; she becomes Mrs. husband's name and LAST NAME HERE. A man becomes a married man and no longer is a bachelor; nope you can't "play the field" anymore. You are officially a hubby.

So the love that we carry inside eventually comes out to be what we are. What if you fall in love and it's not "meant to be?" Or what if you fall in love and it isn't the right time? Then what? Then your heart suffers and you must decide how to disguise your feelings? Sure, either one is quite possible, but I don't think that is what God had in mind. Don't you think that He wanted you to love with all your heart? Don't you think that He wanted you to soar high and shout it from the roof tops?? YES! Love was created for us to feel, to yearn for, to drive us forward. Love is our purpose. God wanted us to love Him. But He also said, "Love one another." That love is what creates us who we are. How can we try to keep ourselves from coming out? How can we push our destiny away?

What do you think? Where is our love supposed to go? What are we to do with love that we've tried to stifle, but it doesn't work? What happens when YOU love the wrong person?